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A lot of managers play defense. When an employee messes up they react. Jump down their throat. Tell them not to do it again. They raise their voice. The frustration is clear on their face or by the tone of their emails and messages.
The next day or the next week when they mess up again they repeat the process above. They immediately jump down their throat. Tell them how they messed up. Tell them to do better.
This is the management style of 90% of leaders.
These managers and business owners are playing defense. They wait for the next mistake and then they pounce. They spend their time being grumpy and frustrated with their teams. They tell the employees the same things 10 times and it still doesn’t stick.
The employees don’t actually get any better.
In fact they get WORSE at their job.
Why?
This management style makes employees uneasy. Scared. Insecure in their job. Confused. Frustrated. It makes them numb to the coaching and feedback.
A fact:
Employees generally take direct, negative feedback very poorly.
They get offended. They get stressed. Insecure. Afraid. Then their performance falters even further as they walk around on egg shells trying not to mess up again. Instead of doing their job with confidence they end up playing defense as well, overthinking everything and trying to avoid messing up. Instead of trying to win.
Instead of being told how and why to improve and what it will do for them and how they will make more money, they are constantly told what NOT to do.
A few weeks ago one of my employees wrote a really bad email to a client. It was too long. It wasn’t direct. It didn’t get the point across. It didn’t have a call to action at the end or a clear point.
I was pissed.
Most managers would have jumped down their throat about the grammar. Or the call to action not being there. Or sent a passive aggressive response without any real coaching.
Instead, I jumped on a video call with them instantly.
I started with a smile and asked them about their family or another piece of small talk.
Then I said I had some constructive feedback for them if they were up for it. They agreed of course.
Then I began to lather on the praise. You had a great month last month. You did a great job with this and that. You have an awesome future here. I found as many ways to compliment them as possible.
Then I asked them if they wanted me to help them get better at a really important part of their job so that they can do better and make more money and make their clients happier.
I told them if you get better at writing emails your potential here is going to skyrocket. Do you want me to help you do that?
They eagerly agreed and asked for more.
But here’s the thing - I need you to understand that when I critique you and provide very direct feedback I’m not doing that because I’m angry with you or to stress you out. I’m doing it so you can get better.
Lets look at your recent email. You had 400 words. Here is how I would have written this email in 80 words.
I would have ended it with this question. Nobody wants to read the email you wrote, you don’t have a direct ask, you aren’t going to get a response. Did you know Tom, who leads the company in sales, averages only 90 words per email he sends? He ruthlessly cuts everything out of an email that isn’t absolutely 100% necessary.
They respond with amazement. Wow. You are right! I totally see how this works.
I reassured this person that I’m going to help turn you into a great email sender and it will explode your productivity because its the most important part of the job. It was a very positive call even though I had to give direct, critical feedback because of the way I framed it.
I then asked them to CC me on every email you send for the next week. I’ll told them I'll be your coach and help you improve with concise feedback. I want you to try to reduce the length of every email by 70% and be extremely direct. Put in a question you need answered. Be confident!
I want you to attack these emails because I know you can do this. Don’t worry about a mistake here and there. I will guide you and help you when you make those mistakes. Keep improving and it’ll be second nature in no time.
Deal?
Deal!
Lets kill it and continue to get you up the leaderboard. You got 5th out of 20 last month at the company. That is excellent. You’re onto something and one of our best producers. I think this can take you into the top 3 or even to the top spot. You have a really bright future here.
What feedback do you have for me? Do you disagree with this approach? Will you promise to tell me or vocalize it if I cross the line or make you too stressed out?
Ok lets rock!
That’s the framework.
Praise first, then provide constructive, direct criticism. Setting the expectation that it will continue but it shouldn’t be taken personally. More praise, then end with a feedback request.
This can apply to anyone you deal with inside of a company or any of your external contractors and vendors.
You are speaking to them with excitement and energy instead of frustration. Your body language and tone of voice matters.
This is a method of leading with a carrot instead of a paddle. You are persuading and encouraging, not punishing and focusing on the consequences.
Your employee doesn’t feel stressed. They aren’t anxious. They don’t feel like they are under the gun. They are open minded and excited to learn. They leave confident and pumped to get better.
And you make more money and create a culture of winning and improving.
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A few posts from this week:
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Onward and upward,
Nick Huber
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